So as you may have sensed, this past week and a half has been hellish and difficult. I’ve had problems with health, housing, school etc. and of course had to deal personally with all of it. This means that I’ve been constantly operating with a high level of stress, not sleeping enough and generally being super duper busy. This state is what I try and avoid, because it is not conducive to happy fibromyalgia living.
Fibromyalgia requires plenty of time to rest, relax and sleep. Adopting a slower and healthier lifestyle is what has allowed me to regain much of my quality of life over the past few years. However, at times like now, it is not always possible to move at my preferred pace. When people with fibro take on more than they should (in terms of general activity, stress etc.) they always pay for it later. Always. So the fact that I have been stressed and super busy for the past little while, means that I will at some point experience a flare (a period of time when fibromyalgia symptoms are heightened and difficult to control).
Ideally, the flare will occur after you have got through whatever period of stress you are dealing with. However, this is not always the case. Like now for example: I have an exam on Thursday (that I was only able to start studying for yesterday) and I am exhausted. So very exhausted. I am not finding it conducive to relearning information for my exam.
Times like this force a complicated debate. Will I benefit more from studying or resting? Is studying worthwhile if I am too tired to take in the information? Will I be able to get through my exam if I don’t study? If I don’t rest?
Fibromyalgia makes me consider these questions on a daily basis, and there really is no ideal answer. I need to study and rest, but I don’t have time for both. Unfortunately, people with fibro have to get used to the idea that they cannot perform at the same level as everyone else. I know this, but it doesn’t make it easier.
This situation has happened before; exam time is a horrible time for me always. At times I have been absolutely astonished at the quality of work I can pull off when I am for example trying not to pass out in the middle of an exam. Other times I get the following response from Profs “I could tell you weren’t feeling well – your essay question wasn’t up to your normal standards…the logic just didn’t make any sense”. Awkward. Lol.