Jane Kerrison

Okay, okay! I’m back and ready to fill you in! Yesterday I mentioned that I’ve been having a lot of fun lately – let me elaborate…

The health food book I’ve been referencing over the summer has the subtitle “The Plan That Will Change Your Life”, the meditation book I’ve been using repeatedly speaks of changing your outlook, and the yoga dvd’s constantly site Kundalini as the yoga most potent for transformation and fulfillment of inner potential. It’s easy to laugh those kind of comments off, or put them down to promotional garbage, but honestly, I really do feel like my summer has changed me.

When I say that I’ve changed, I don’t mean that I’m a different person, I’m not, but there are a lot of differences to myself a few months ago.

My health has improved so much that it is kind of unbelievable. While I liked cooking and food before, now I am incredibly conscious of what goes into my body. I’m also becoming quite knowledgable on issues of nutrition. My eating habits have done a 360. I physically cannot even eat most of the food that I lived off of a few months ago.

My outlook has also changed dramatically. I was never a particularly negative person before, but through what I have learned this summer, I am now much more conscious about my reactions and responses to situations. As a result, I am able to take the time to find the positive part of most situations. This constant shifting of attitude has made my day to day life a lot more fun! I find myself enjoying small moments that I took for granted before. Using meditation ideas, I try to bring focus to each moment, which can transform chores like cooking and cleaning into opportunities for fun.

I’ve also loosened the restraints on my creativity, which has been so exciting. Whereas before, I would often hold back due to fear of failure, criticism etc. now I tend to just kind of follow my creativity and see what happens. As I result, I’ve started playing guitar (which I have always wanted to do, and which I LOVE), singing a lot more (with my lovely new guitar!) and even writing my own songs! Writing and music have long been the two dominant passions in my life, but I’ve been scared to try and bring them together. For me, finally starting to write songs is a huge achievement; I really love it, and it is so fun and fulfilling.

This summer I also started drawing (I need a lot of practice – don’t expect to see anything any time soon!) and playing my flute again. I’ve been playing a lot more piano, and even making up my own stuff (which I was too hesitant to do before). In general, I’m just more spontaneous (albeit in small ways). Being sick made me a very cautious person, and while I still am very careful, I am more willing to do little fun things where the fun will outweigh the risk of a negative outcome (ie. climbing a tree with a friend or skinny dipping at midnight).

Another benefit of my summer experiences is that I have started to shift my response to stressful situations. It’s going to take me awhile to undo years of habit, as well as all the stress tendency of fibromyalgia, but any shift in the right direction is a positive one. I’m working to try and notice situations that really shouldn’t be causing me stress, and approach them as challenges. This idea makes me see the situation as more fun, and can totally transform how I respond. It may sound a little silly, but it’s helped to remove some of the small stresses from my life.

The result of all these changes is that while I’ve been having a bit of a rough time lately (not sleeping well, and a number of storm induced headaches) I’m still having fun with the parts of my day that I can. Even if it’s only for a few moments on a bad day, it gives me something positive to focus on and keep me going. Also, it’s resulting in a lot of nice music :)