Lazy Learning
I should start by mentioning that I’ve had a great morning, and that in the past day or two I’ve found ways to bring some more fun and relaxation into my day. So I have something to contrast against some of the struggles I’ve had lately (honestly, the changing season is driving me crazy – I’ve had to basically double up on my pain meds in order to manage).
That being said, I need to fill you in on a problem I’ve been having. Essentially the issue is that lately I’ve had to convince myself that I want to stay in school. It has become an almost daily battle. During the summer I got a glimpse of how great I could feel if I had enough time to just focus on my health. Then I came back to university. University is not a forgiving lifestyle for people with chronic illness, especially one that includes chronic fatigue and is triggered by stress.
Combine frequent deadlines with lots of class and you have an environment that is extremely difficult to navigate while maintaining good health. I’ve never before had such an extensive period of wishing I was not in school. Usually I love school, and my love of learning is enough to balance the negatives. One of the differences now is that I am unhappy in two out of three of my classes. Add to that my longing for the health I had in the summer, and you get my current situation.
Obviously I am not leaving university. I still really value my education, and I know the importance of a degree. That being said, I am acutely aware of the hostility of the university lifestyle (by the way, my personal university lifestyle does not include drinking or partying – I can’t even imagine how that would screw things up!). My goal is to try and incorporate as many of the good habits from the summer into my life now as I can. I’m also trying to focus on being less stressed about classes and deadlines. Hopefully then I can turn this semester into a positive experience of some kind. One advantage is that not enjoying my classes makes it significantly easier to not be stressed about them!
Okay, that’s enough complaining for now. Hope you have some pretty fall leaves wherever you are :)
