I’d been thinking a lot lately of taking a few months break from this blog. The main reason is that after my glorious summer of trying to get healthy, I ironically was overcome with new and worsening health complications. I felt that I had no business writing about my experiences, because frankly, I didn’t (um… don’t) have a strong comprehension of what was happening to me.
One of the hardest things about living with chronic illness is dealing with a time when things get worse, or something else goes wrong. When already dealing with illness everyday, further complications can be overwhelming. You don’t need to have a serious anxiety disorder for declining health to stress you out (but, of course, I do, which makes it all the more stressful).
I don’t know how much I’ll be posting on this site over the next few months. I still really believe in what I started out to do here, but right now I have more questions than answers, and I don’t know if throwing them into cyberspace is the most helpful action for me to take. Now seems like a time to focus inward and work on learning to manage my anxieties.
It will also probably take me some time to sort out how I feel about being inflicted with endometriosis – that is if I ever get past the fear (it is terrifying to know that my body can and will produce that much pain – excruciating is not nearly a strong enough word). I had a few years to process and learn about fibromyalgia before I started writing this blog – I had developed strategies for coping and even excelling within the limitations of that illness. Right now, I am just trying to stay afloat while I come up with some way to maintain my quality of life while simultaneously trying to learn about my various health problems.
I still wholeheartedly believe that sharing stories like mine will help people cope with, and understand chronic illness. Right now I’m just too embedded in my own story to be able to process and write about it. So I may be a little scarce for the next little while. I really appreciate everyone who has supported my efforts on this project, and I do hope that you will stay signed up for the RSS feed so that when I do get back to posting, you can keep reading.
Much care to you all.